Book: Even If I Fall by Abigail Johnson

Published January 2019 by Inkyard Press|352 pages

Where I Got It: I borrowed the e-book from the library

Series: None

Genre: YA Contemporary

A year ago, Brooke Covington lost everything when her beloved older brother, Jason, confessed to the murder of his best friend, Calvin. Brooke and her family became social pariahs, broken and unable to console one another. Brooke’s only solace remains the ice-skating rink, where she works but no longer lets herself dream about a future skating professionally.

When Brooke encounters Calvin’s younger brother, Heath, on the side of the road and offers him a ride, everything changes. She needs someone to talk to…and so does Heath. No one else understands what it’s like. Her brother, alive but gone; his brother, dead but everywhere. Soon, they’re meeting in secret, despite knowing that both families would be horrified if they found out. In the place of his anger and her guilt, something frighteningly tender begins to develop, drawing them ever closer together.

But when a new secret comes out about the murder, Brooke has to choose whose pain she’s willing to live with—her family’s or Heath’s. Because she can’t heal one without hurting the other.

I was intrigued by Even If I Fall, but it ended up being okay for me.

I really felt for Brooke, and what she had to go through.  You see glimpses of what people think of her, but I feel like the summary made it seem like it was a bigger deal than it really was.  We don’t get a lot of it, and considering how much Brooke seems to be out and about, we could have had more of it.

I felt like the secret didn’t match with all of the build-up to it.  I was really let down by it, and I honestly expected something more life-changing.  It was definitely disappointing, and I honestly expected more.  I wasn’t necessarily shocked that there was a secret, but I was shocked that it was so small and insignificant.

Before I start sounding like a broken record about that secret, the ending in general was pretty disappointing.  I don’t mind open endings at all, and I did finish the book wondering what was in store for Brooke.  But I wish we had actually finished the book with whether she got into ice-skating tour, and not her opening the envelope.

I liked that she was there for her sister, but Brooke did seem pretty self-absorbed at times.  I felt really sad for her that she thought she had to give up on the ice-skating tour to be near her family.  I am glad that she decided to go for it, and that she shouldn’t put her life on hold because of her brother.  I get why she didn’t initially tell her friend about what really happened to her brother, but it did cost her, and I hope she eventually understands that she should have been more honest.

I didn’t particularly care for the romance, mostly because it’s the brother of guy her brother murdered.  If I were him, I don’t know that I would have even talked to someone who murdered a relative, much less date him.  But there is a part of me that’s glad she had someone to talk to, even though Heath would not have been my first choice.

2 stars.  Even If I Fall was just okay.  I was disappointed in the secret and in the ending, but I did like that Brooke decided to go for the audition, and to live her life.