Sometimes, I Wonder What I Was Thinking

Right now, I’m in this “I’m going to re-read all my NaNo novels” phase.  Which is fine with me, because usually I only read them once, at the beginning of December, and then I’m done with it.

I did re-read my 2006 novel a few months ago, and it was really interesting to compare it to Turning Point.  My writing has definitely improved over the last  years, and if I were to compare all of my novels (9 total!), especially in the order they were written, I’d definitely be able to see the change in my writing over time.  NaNo is the only time I write anything, although I’m *attempting* to change that this year.

Anyway, sometimes I look at what I’ve written, and there’s a lot I don’t remember writing.  A lot of times too, I wonder what I was thinking. 

I bring you Exhibit A, which is one of my NaNo’s from 2008 (titled Stab My Back).  As you might remember from my very first post, I started it a few days into November, with no plot.  It’s such a trainwreck, and pretty much the 1st 36 pages are based off of different songs.  It’s hilarious though.  So far, there haven’t been too many hilarious spelling errors or anything like that (mostly because of that darned inner editor), but even still, having no clue what I’m writing makes for hilarious writing.  I’ll definitely post anything funny on another day. 

But seriously, this novel has been one big…what on earth was I thinking moment.  It’s a wonder my grandma doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with me, because I’ve been trying hard to not  laugh.  The tv is on slightly louder than normal, and we’re in different rooms, so there’s a chance she didn’t hear me laughing hysterically.  While going in with no clue is interesting, it’s doubtful I’ll ever do it again.  I might, just to see what’ll happen. 

The one thing I love about NaNo is that it tests my ability to just write, and let everything go.  When you write 100,000 words in a month, you tend to let go, and just focus on the writing.  It’s more about quantity than it is about quality.  One of the things that’s popped into my head the last couple weeks is that I write 100k- but I never said anything about them about good words. 

And with the focus on quantity (not quality) it’s no wonder that when I go back and read anything I’ve done during NaNo, I wonder what I was thinking.

Weird Dreams

I know I have a lot of them, but unfortunately, I don’t remember a lot of them.  There was one I had (sometime during the night) where I was at Cosmos (cool coffee shop) and there was this girl doing ballet dressed up as a walrus and was trying to make it look like she was trying to fade into a picture of a whale. 

Found this one in my journal and copied word for word from it: back in march 2010, “a little girl went missing, and people are still looking for her, checking new technology.  I walked around the museum.  There was a filmmaker in communist Russia telling people that they could still leave, and that those in Communist Germany couldn’t.”

Apparently, there was no connection between, the little girl, me walking around the museum, and the filmmaker.  Apparently I was walking around the museum talking about shoes, according to the notes I had. 

And another dream: In April 2010 (nearly a month after the dream mentioned above), “I couldn’t find the keys for the north doors, and had to stay at the museum all night.  there was a camp-in.  all of the leads were there trying to figiure something out.  Another vsa was there too.  I tried locking the doors with a different key but I couldn’t.  People kept trying to come in and I kept telling them we were closed.  One man wanted to know why we closed at  and I just stared at him blankly.”

This one was also taken directly from my journal.  Honestly, I’ve had a lot of dreams about the museum, and most aren’t too weird.  Or at least, they weren’t weird enough for me to write down, apparently.  Of course, I’ve spent enough time there over the last 3-ish years to where dreams about the place weren’t unusual.  I guess it’s a byproduct of working at such a cool place.   

And another dream, date unknown, although I think it might be from June 2010, taken from…my random notes document: ”

I was at a birthday party when three people disappeared.  The one boy felt like his protection had disappeared because he was turning a certain age (unknown during the dream).  There was a neighborhood of creepy two-story houses.  The trio were trying to sell harry potter’s biography to get people to support their cause (also unknown).  They were traveling at night down a street that appeared to be H st.  They also traveled by plane with a Dumbledore-like man, so they could be protected.  The one boy went to this one house where he could only go up to a certain point.  There was a woman standing on the second floor balcony.  She later came up to the one boy and asked if she could have a copy of the book so that she could have information on harry potter.  The two boys went to this factory type place and it blew up.  There was wreckage, and the boys couldn’t get out because there were too many things in their way.  The things weren’t their earlier.” 

It’s some weird twist on Harry Potter!  I do believe it’s my 1st harry potter dream…one that I remember anyway.

I’d have to go through my old journals to see if I have any other weird dreams written down, because there aren’t many in this current one, which goes back about 3 years.  Only in the last month or so have I started to write in it more often.  Entries became more sporadic in 2009, it looks like. 

I didn’t have many weird dreams over the last 3 years.  Or if I did, I didn’t make an effort to write them down.  Because I feel like I did make the effort to do so at one point.  Dreams can definitely be a good inspiration for dreams  for writing, especially if they’re interesting enough.  I may need to write some of my dreams into my novels, since these aren’t enough to spark a novel.  Well, maybe the first one I talked about is…

Odds and Ends

Yesterday afternoon, I spent a good hour or so trying to figure what books I’m going to read for the 100 book challenge I’m doing this year.  I have 49 books over at google books, just waiting for me to read- and the best part is that they’re all free!  Well, the ones I decided I wanted to read are free.  Plus, I have a bunch of books I haven’t read that are sitting on my bookshelf (and they’re feeling very sad that they’ve been sitting there so long).  And a bunch of books that I need to re-read and haven’t yet entered into goodreads.  I know I’ve read more than what I’ve entered, but I honestly can’t remember all of the books I’ve checked out from the library. 

The other day, I realized that I have a lot of stations over at pandora, and they’re all really different.  And random.  And speaking of music/stations, I’m really glad Jeff and Jer are going to back on the radio tomorrow!  It’s been a long year and a half without them!  Nothing against any of the other morning shows, but Jeff and Jer are, without a doubt, my favorites.  I’m even going to be up at 6 in the morning so I can listen to their first show since they’ve been off the air. 

It is pretty interesting looking at my favorites at stumble upon.  Apparently, I’m really into food/cooking, nature, photography, crafts, dance, ballet, writing, and history.  Well, of course, food/cooking would be the most popular, since the last few months, I’ve really been taken with cooking and baking.  Just from stumble upon, I’ll be busy cooking, and that’s not taking into account all of the food blogs I follow!  It amazes me that there’s so many cool things just floating around, and I never would have found it if it weren’t for stumble upon.   

I’m also excited because later, I’m going to extraordinary desserts in little italy.  Any place that has dessert in their name is a place that’s cool.  Plus, the lemon bar and blackberry (at least, I think it was blackberry) tea that I had from my 1st and only visit was pretty good.  Not extraordinary, but still pretty good.

Random note: If you want to see what I’ve read/am currently reading, what I’m listening to over at Pandora, and want to see my favorites at stumble upon, click on the purple, and it’ll take you to my pages.

Another random note: I managed to write an astounding 654 words yesterday morning!  Usually I manage 100-200 words, at most, but the words just kept coming, which makes me happy.  Turning Point is still the only one I’ve managed to continue adding to, even though I’ve had some of my other stuff open.  I just sit there, looking at it, and then I close it a couple minutes later.  So at least I’m working on something, even if I’m not working on everything that I had originally planned.

Stuff I’ve Made

Today, I thought I’d share some pictures of some of the stuff I’ve made.  Going through some of my favorites from Stumble Upon (one of the best things ever!), and from a bunch of food blogs I follow, I’ve realized I have a lot of potential food to make!  For the time being, I think it’ll be 2 or 3 things per month.

So, I made sugar cookies a couple days ago, and they’re already gone.  I’m not kidding when I say that these sugar cookies are some of the best that I’ve ever made.  I found the recipe over at Butter Sweet Melodie’s blog, if you want to check it out.

So, the above picture is a breakfast casserole, and it’s seriously one of the best things ever!  It has eggs, cheese, sausage, and the bottom layer is biscuits.  I found the recipe through stumble upon, and it’s buried deep in the 10 pages I have for food/cooking.  It’s pretty good as leftovers too.

And finally, taco soup, topped with sour cream and cheese!  Also very good; yet another recipe I found with stumble upon.  I have to say, I love the crockpot.  Seriously, you just throw everything in the crockpot, let it sit for most of the day, and then it’s ready!  I must find more crockpot recipes.

I already have 3 winners for November, and anything that goes in the crockpot is a winner in my book, just because in the few things I’ve made in the crockpot, there’s been minimal prep work.  Anything that’ll save time in November is a good thing.  Plus, with soup, I can make it in October and then take it out in November.  Cookies also freeze pretty well, so maybe this year, I’ll actually make stuff ahead of time, freeze it, and then I’ll have stuff pre-made for November.

Character Profile: Me

I thought today I’d character profile myself. 

Hometown and Current City: San Diego!  (awesome weather the last few days!)

Siblings: Nope.  I’m an only child.

Favorite Color(s): Tie between pink, black, and purple.

Favorite Animal: Cats, Dolphins, and Butterflies

Favorite Soda: Dr. Pepper.  But I’m also partial to squirt and fresca.

Favorite Sports: Gymnastics, ice-skating, swimming, and baseball.  I will admit to watching the olympics 24/7 when it’s on, even the stuff I could care less about. 

Favorite subjects: english (which probably isn’t a big surprise) and history.  Or pretty much any social science.   

Favorite music:  it’s hard to say, but I think I have to go with country.

Favorite food: mexican and italian.  does dessert count?  because if it does, then it’s totally one of my favorites.

Favorite games: candyland; monopoly; mario kart; apples to apples 

Favorite tv shows: House, Grey’s Anatomy, Gilmore Girls and NCIS (why did I not start watching this show earlier?  I seriously need to catch up on it)

Fears: spiders, needles (although not as much as I used to be)

likes: the zoo; roller coasters; languages; swings; trampolines; baking!; coloring; board/card games

dislikes: ferris wheels (but I will go on them); bugs/insects; driving (there are some scary drivers out there!); wearing shoes

Majored in: sociology; almost double majored in sociolgy and social work, but then I ended up dropping social work as a major. 

When I was little I wanted to be: a teacher.  I think I said a nurse at one point.  But mostly a teacher.

If I were at Hogwarts, I’d be a: toss-up between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw.  But I’m leaning more towards Hufflepuff. 

Favorite vegetables and fruit: watermelon, apples, carrots, brocoli, cauliflower, and tomatoes

Least favorite fruits and vegetables: brussel sprouts, asparagus, eggplant

favorite holiday: christmas and st patricks day

Least favorite holiday: valentines day and thanksgiving

Random Stuff:

  • I love coffee.  It’s my friend.
  • I went camping once, and it was fun. 
  • Disney movies are amazing (snow white is my all-time favorite)
  • i like fruit snacks
  • i love rachael ray
  • the last movie I was in theaters was Black Swan- it was good!  (but I’m still annoyed with the ending)
  • My grandma used to do arts and crafts, and I wished I had learned from her before she had her stroke. 
  • I’m 4’10- I’m just tall enough to go on roller coasters
  • I still sleep with a stuffed bear named Sammy.  I’ve had him for as long as I can remember.
  • I wear glasses.
  • I once sprained my ankle go-karting (and I still have no idea how I managed to do that)
  • I used to be a girl scout and I used to take ballet.
  • I also used to play softball

Random Stuff!

I have a general idea of when I want to work on everything- Monday/Wednesday/Friday for already written novels, Tuesday/Thursday for planning/writing prompts and Saturday/Sunday, I’ll either take a break or work on whatever I feel like working on.  I need some kind of structure, and I figure it’ll be easier to focus my attention on each project if I have specific days to work on everything.  It really makes me glad I have my binder, because it’ll be a great way to keep everything organized. 

My writing “schedule” isn’t etched in stone or anything, so I’ll change it when I feel like I need to but I definitely need to get working on everything because I feel weird not working on my NaNo novels and my long-forgotten fanfics. 

Part of it is definitely my inner editor.  It’s like there’s this voice telling me that my projects aren’t worth working on (even though they are!) because they’re crap.  I’ve never finished anything I’ve started, but I am determined this time, because I like some of what I’m written, and I really want to see these projects to the end of the 1st draft.

I do have another fanfic idea.  It’s really more of an inkling, than an actual idea, so I might work on it, I might not.  At the rate I’m racking up these plot bunnies, I might have to do my own version of NaNo in some other month.  Or…I could use script frenzy as my way of getting started on these ideas.  But instead of doing a script, I could write a novel or two.

Why I Write

Today’s post is devoted completely to why I love writing and reading.  No blog about writing is complete without me talking about why I write.

I’ve written in journals since I was about 12, and in high school, I started (but never finished) a couple harry potter fanfics and a couple original stories, plus I wrote a lot of poetry. 

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 17, but looking through my old journals, it’s definitely been there since I was 12.  And when my grandpa was sick when I was in college, I was the main caregiver for him.

Writing was my best (and at the time, only) way of dealing with everything going on around me, and my way of getting the ideas floating around my head out onto paper.  

Since I felt like I couldn’t talk about what was going on (semi-long story, but it boils down to family issues), I turned to writing, since it’s my way of expressing myself, and working out what I was feeling and writing about everything going on around me, even when I didn’t understand what was going on.

It’s definitely an important part of my life, and November reminded me how much I love writing, and that I do need to write on a regular basis.  Even if I don’t write everyday, it’s still something that I need to do.  One of my earliest memories is of my grandpa taking me to the library every week.  He loved reading, and my love of learning and reading definitely came from him.  Writing definitely became an offshoot of that, mainly because I’d finish reading a boook, and wonder what happen to the characters after the book ended.  Or I’d wonder what would have happened if event B happened instead of event A. 

So that’s why I started writing, and where I got my love of reading.  And you got to learn a little more about me, which I hope gives some insight into my writing, and the ideas that pop into my head.

Non-Writing Resolutions

Not all of my New Year’s resolutions are writing-related, of course.  So I thought I’d share some of my non-writing resolutions.

  • go to the gym: I know this is the most popular resolution in the history of ever, but I really don’t mind going to the gym.  And I don’t go as often as I should, so I’ll be sure to go a few times a week.
  • Volunteer somewhere: I have a lot of time on my hands, and volunteering would be a good way to fill some of my time.  Plus, I’d be helping people, and it’ll be something I can put on my resume, plus it’ll give me some new skills.  I’ve already settled on volunteering at a library, which I did in high school, and for a year or two in college, and I kinda miss it.  I’m thinking about volunteering at another place too, so I’m on the lookout.  Something that would give me experience in public health/social work would be preferable.
  • Settling on a grad school program: I know I want to go back to school, but I’m still trying to decide between library science and public health/social work (dual masters would be preferable, but if that’s not possible, then one or the other will work).  So my volunteering would definitely help me along with my decision, and explains my preferred places to volunteer.  And I still have to look at schools, and figure out which ones are a good fit. 
  • Bake and cook something new every month: I love baking, so I’ve decided I need to bake one new thing every month.  I don’t cook a lot, but I’ve decided to cook one new thing a month as well, in order to get better at cooking.  And as a bonus, it’ll be great to have almost a years worth of stuff that I can eat during November.
  • Read a new book/re-read a book every month: not only do I have books that I haven’t read yet (and a few more I never finished), I have quite a few books that I haven’t re-read in a long time, so I’ll be reading/re-reading one book from each list every month.   

Writing Resolutions

Here are my writing resolutions for 2011:

  • Write at least 3 times a week.  More is preferable, of course, and I’ll definitely try to write everyday, but if I don’t, it’s okay too, because I have plenty to work on.
  • When I don’t write (or even when I do), I’m going to be working on one of my other projects.  I have a few other things I want to write, so I’ll be planning other novels.
  • Actually start editing/revising one or two of my novels- there’s a couple that I actually wouldn’t mind working on, and would love to edit. 

I’m hoping 2011 will be full of fun writing adventures!  And next month, I’ll be doing NaBloPoMo, which stands for National Blog Posting Month, so I’ll be updating everyday.  Not everything will be writing related next month, but on days when I’m not talking about my writing or an actual topic in mind, I’ll be using writing prompts.

Music, Part Two!

I’ve been using Pandora a lot over the last few days, and it got me thinking about music that I can listen to while writing without changing the station every 5 seconds or skipping through songs until  I find something I can listen the whole way through.

What I listen to largely depends on my mood, and what I’m writing, but I do have a (fairly short) list of artists I can listen to all day.  Here’s the people I can listen to and never get tired of: 

  • The Gin Blossoms
  • Black Stone Cherry
  • One Less Reason
  • Rascal Flatts
  • Taylor Swift
  • Starkid Potter
  • Draco and the Malfoys
  • Harry and the Potters

  As far as Pandora goes, I’ve been listening to the showtunes and swing stations a lot.  Swing seems to be mostly instrumental, so I’m not distracted by singing along.  As for the showtunes, they’re fun enough that I’m not too distracted.  I’ve been adding a ton of new stations, so I’ll have plenty of new music to listen to. 

I get a lot of inspiration from music- one of my novels from 2008 was inspired by a song.  Other times, I’ll be writing, and a song will come on that’ll go perfectly with what I’m writing.  Music is a really nice distraction, and sometimes, it’s the only thing that keeps me writing. 

And this year, I found that if I included each characters favorite music and artists, then it would be slightly easier to get into their head.  Like if I listened to what Kiora likes or what Chloe likes, it would be easier to write them.  Not that I ended up doing that, because I didn’t, but that was the reasoning behind it.  And it’s always interesting to know what kind of music they like.  Of course, it ended being stuff that I like, so I didn’t do it for everyone, but maybe next year.